


i was born a believer, i believe in the way you called to me

by stormysirens



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, brief angst, its soft i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormysirens/pseuds/stormysirens
Summary: Eddie looked at him again – traced the curve of his nose and lips with his eyes. He took in the way the light flooded over his form from where it broke through leaves in the tree. He tracked the steady rise and fall of Richie’s chest.You are the only exception. And I’m on my way to believing.Eddie shook his head, smiled to himself, and whispered, “It’s a secret.”- or the four seasons in which Eddie fell in love -
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 25
Kudos: 100





	i was born a believer, i believe in the way you called to me

**Author's Note:**

> I know what you’re thinking! “Back again so soon?” I hadn’t expected to write this piece (and I especially didn’t expect to finish it so quickly) but with quarantine going on I just wanted to put out something short and sweet. I hope you all like it! 
> 
> Here’s the songs in order of the seasons if you wanna listen to them while you read:
> 
> The Only Exception - Paramore  
> Chemistry - All Time Low  
> Killer - Phoebe Bridgers  
> Stubborn Love - The Lumineers  
> Lucky Strike - Troye Sivan

**spring**

Eddie fell in love during the spring. He fell in love while the daisies blossomed and while the grass grew. He fell in love amongst the April showers and dewy Monday mornings. He fell in love while the Earth was in the midst of another annual awakening.

Eddie figured that it was inevitable – that it had always been there, budding in his lungs and sprouting in his veins. He figured that things like this weren’t just born from nothing. Falling in love wasn’t anything like the birth of a star. Rather, it was more like the nursing of a plant – something you fed so that it could flourish.

Eddie realized that he was in love on a random afternoon in the middle of May.

He and Richie were sprawled across a blanket that they’d laid out in a field near the quarry. The sun was pinned high that day, a force so bright that it might have left Eddie sunburnt had it not been for the shade of a tall maple tree. There was a nice breeze going and the smell of something sweet flooded the air.

Richie lamely plucked at the grass around them while Eddie flicked through the pages of a book that he was hardly interested in. They hadn’t said much the whole afternoon, but Eddie didn’t really mind. Richie’s music filled in all the empty spaces between their conversations, and his distant humming helped keep him focused.

Richie had never liked prolonged silences, though. Eddie noticed that whenever things got to be too quiet, the other boy would grow fidgety and act strung out. As kids, Eddie always thought that Richie just _liked_ being loud. He thought that he kept his volume raised and his jokes crude purely because he enjoyed the attention. Eddie thought Richie didn’t know how to let a fading conversation settle.

The older they got, though, the more Eddie realized that this wasn’t the case. Richie used his brash personality to fill in silences because they made him feel hollow. If the room went still, his face didn’t fall in disappointment at the lack of eyes on him. Instead, Richie would curl his fingers into fists and his eyes would dart around the room, like he was looking for an out – like he wanted to escape. Richie didn’t like being loud, the quiet just made him feel small.

This is exactly why, when Richie broke their amiable silence, Eddie didn’t chide him for it.

“Hey Eds.”

He gave a small hum in response, but didn’t let his eyes drift from the page.

“Look!”

Eddie, who had been lying on his stomach before, huffed and turned on his side to face Richie. He was sitting criss-cross in the space beside Eddie with his arm outstretched and a dandelion pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

“Let’s make a wish,” he said, leaning forward enough that Eddie could feel his minty breath fan out across his face. (Richie was always chewing on stick of gum or sucking on a lollipop, lately. Eddie figured that he was finally trying to kick his smoking habit).

“Together?” Eddie asked, letting his book slip from his hands. He hadn’t saved the page, but he didn’t really care. The sight before him was infinitely more interesting.

Richie’s smile was dopey and bright, something that could almost parallel the sun. He was looking at Eddie in the same way he looked at his favorite vinyl records or the sunflower fields in the summer – with all the mischievous wonder in the world. His curly hair hung loosely over his eyes and his glasses slowly slid down the bridge of his nose.

Eddie wasn’t sure what it was about the sight that brought on his epiphany. He just remembered how Richie shoved at his shoulder and muttered a soft “obviously” in response, and how the only thought that filled his head afterwards was, _oh._

Eddie wasn’t too stunned by the revelation. He wasn’t all that scared either. Because this was _Richie._

Richie, who he’d known since they were six – all clumsy and clammy handed and curious about everything. Richie, who made Eddie Spotify playlists practically every month because he always had a song that ‘ _reminded me of you, Eddie Spaghetti!’_ Richie, who consistently consoled Eddie after every heated argument he shared with his mother. Richie, who he trusted with his _life._

Richard Tozier, the boy who pinkie promised to be his best friend until the end of time, and then some.

“C’mon, Eds!” Richie whined, startling Eddie back to reality. “My arm’s getting tired here.”

Eddie glanced at the dandelion in his hand, then back up at him, “We can’t cash out two wishes on one dandelion, dipshit.”

Richie scoffed, but it didn’t hold any true offense, “Says who?”

Eddie didn’t know what to say to that, so he offered up a weak shrug.

“Exactly. Now hurry up, close your eyes, and make a wish with me.”

Eddie was never one to believe in fate. He didn’t like placing his blind trust in the universe. Too many bad things happened in the world and within his life for him to believe in wishing on a shooting star or dandelion or birthday candle. Problems couldn’t magically be solved with a dash of luck or pinch of faith.

But, just this once, Eddie wanted to believe that this could work.

So, he screwed his eyes shut, listened to Richie count down from three, and released his breath in one swift blow.

When his eyes shot open again, the white flecks of dandelion were scattered all around them. His wish was being carried off by the breeze, spreading across the field they were in.

Richie sighed and fell back against the blanket. One arm was carefully tucked beneath his head and the other was draped across his eyes. Some song by Paramore drifted from his phone’s speaker and circled around them in soothing laps.

“What’d you wish for, Eds?” Richie asked. His tone was soft, gentle in a way Eddie knew was only reserved for him.

Eddie looked at him again – traced the curve of his nose and lips with his eyes. He took in the way the light flooded over his form from where it broke through leaves in the tree. He tracked the steady rise and fall of Richie’s chest.

_You are the only exception. And I’m on my way to believing._

Eddie shook his head, smiled to himself, and whispered, “It’s a secret.”

**summer**

Eddie fell harder for Richie in the summer. He fell for him on their long evening drives and during their midday naps. He fell for him amongst the unforgiving Derry heat and never-ending thunderstorms. He fell for him while the days grew longer and the nights grew shorter.

Eddie wasn’t the type to fall in love easily. He wasn’t quick to be enamored by pretty things or swayed by smooth gestures. He didn’t melt at kind words or offhanded compliments. He was chaotic in a lot of other aspects of his life (which was expected of a seventeen year old), but Eddie had _always_ been cautious with his heart.

He glanced at Richie from where he stood beside him. They were at the beach, mindlessly treading the boardwalk. The sun hung low in the horizon and made everything look a little bit hazy – smoothed out and almost angelic. The air was cool and smelled faintly of sea salt.

Richie had driven them there. He was always dragging Eddie along on little adventures. Whether it be the grocery store at noon or a gas station at midnight or the beach at sunset, Richie always included Eddie in his plans.

Richie had a blue raspberry slushee in his hand and a slight grin on his face. He was glancing around at the scenery, pointing out every little thing he liked or found interesting. The other Losers tended to tune Richie out whenever he got too spacey, but Eddie found that this was the best time to listen.

His eyes would go wide with wonder and he’d speak about things with all the childlike curiosity in the world. His voice would soften and he’d talk until he ran out of breath. Then, Richie would smile so big that it almost looked like it hurt.

Eddie loved seeing him like that – loved seeing the world through his eyes. He felt freer when he heard the way Richie talked about people and places. He felt more hopeful and sure of the good things in his life.

“Want a sip?” Richie asked once they reached the boardwalk’s end.

Eddie looked at the drink in his hands, then, (stupidly) at Richie’s blue stained lips. He thought that he’d like to steal a kiss and taste it like that instead.

He didn’t though. Eddie fought off his dumb impulse, and leaned over to take a big gulp of the slushee from where it was clasped in Richie’s hand. Richie always got a large, but could never finish it. So, halfway through his drink he’d offer Eddie a sip knowing that he’d drink the rest.

“What am I? Your carrier boy?” Richie questioned, holding out the cup for Eddie to take.

Eddie shook his head and pouted, “No, but my hands’ll get cold. Do you mind holding it?”

Richie grumbled, but drew back his arm.

Eddie watched the waves crash up on the wooden beams that supported the boardwalk. The movement of the water wasn’t rough, but it still looked strong enough to wash him away – strong enough to carry him out with the tide.

He had always been scared of the ocean, terrified of its force. He didn’t like that it was violent enough to wipe out ships and take out homes and carve out rocks near certain shorelines. Eddie figured anything _that_ powerful was to be as equally feared as it was respected.

Still, though, Eddie liked to push his own boundaries every now and again. That’s why he carefully climbed the barrier that separated them from the sea, and perched himself on its ledge. He leaned back on his palms and let himself feel the ocean breeze on his face.

Richie didn’t startle, or pull him back. He just placed their drink on the floor and caged him in by bracing his hands on either side of Eddie’s hips. He leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder and lightly nudged him with his forehead.

When they were younger, Eddie never let anyone get physically close to him. His mom had scared him into thinking that every touch was dirty – that small spaces only left room for germs. He’d gotten so used to being left alone that when people got too handsy it made him uncomfortable and jumpy.

Richie was touchy in nature, always tugging at his wrist or holding his hand or pulling him into a side hug. Eddie didn’t get it at first, how anyone could be so casual with their affectionate gestures. But after a while, he got comfortable with the closeness.

Eddie leaned further back to rest against Richie’s chest.

“Did you know that today’s the summer solstice?” Eddie asked. He felt faraway while looking off into the horizon. The sun was setting and finally pulling a curtain call on the day.

“I did not,” Richie said in a ‘matter of fact’ tone, and Eddie could practically hear the amused grin tugging at his lips. “Explain it to me, Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that, asshole.”

“I know you secretly love it.”

Eddie turned to glare at Richie – to give an empty rant about how he hated every silly nickname he ever gave him. The words died on his tongue though. His mouth went lax and his furrowed brows smoothed over.

Richie was drenched in the orange glow of the sunset. His black curls looked more auburn in the light and his chocolate eyes were now honey behind his glasses. His pale skin looked warmer and his cheeks were slightly flushed. He was looking down at Eddie, expression full of nothing but mirth and mischief.

Eddie was reminded of a song that Richie loved.

_In the heat of the summer, I remember the way you looked at me._

He mentally cursed himself for getting so lost in thought and scoffed to try and play off his brief space-out.

“As if,” he said, forcing a frown.

Richie chuckled, “Alright, Eds. C’mon, tell me all about the summer solstice.”

Eddie did. He told Richie that there were two each year, one in June and the other in December. He rambled on about how it was all in the distance of the sun from the earth – how it affected the length of the day. He explained how it basically signified the beginning of summer.

Richie listened intently, nodded along with every fact Eddie spewed. When they got to the end of it he just stared at Eddie unabashedly, eyes darting across his face as if he were searching for something.

“Hey, Eds…”

_I was born a believer, I believe in the way you called to me._

Richie smiled, something small and personal, “You know you’re my favorite, right?”

Eddie had never been the type to fall in love easily. He had never been the type to hand out his heart on a whim. But, in that moment, he figured it was perfectly safe with Richie.

“That’s funny,” Eddie muttered, beaming, “you’re mine too.”

**fall**

Eddie grew nervous in the fall. He grew nervous while the winds howled and whipped through the trees. He grew nervous amongst all the falling leaves and decaying grass. He grew nervous as the temperatures dropped and the new school-year started.

Eddie hadn’t been too worried – not at first. He was anxious in nature, strung out and stressed about virtually everything. It wasn’t healthy, but sometimes, being a little twitchy helped. Twitchy got things done, kept him in check. If something went wrong, he’d know about it right away.

This is why, after the first two weeks of August, Eddie knew that something about Richie was _off_. He’d been distant – spacier than usual. His smile grew dim and his jokes felt more forced. Eddie noticed the way he was always bouncing a leg or clicking a pen.

Eddie didn’t think much of it at first. Richie usually behaved like this if he was stressed about school. He’d self-isolate for a few days, get his assignments done, and then treat each of the Losers to an ice cream at the end of the week. (His own little way of apologizing for not being as present with them).

That’s why Eddie wasn’t too concerned in the beginning.

But then Richie’s texts grew stringier, and he’d stopped showing up to lunch as often. His head was always buried in a book or he was always hunched over an essay. Eddie would invite him out places and he’d brush him off with a pat to the head and a, “ _Not today ol’ chap! I’ve got an assignment due. Maybe next time though!_ ”

Still, though, Eddie didn’t panic. There were levels to Richie – ways of determining when it was time to intervene. Maybe, Richie hadn’t been as touchy or as bright as he normally was, but he was still responsive. He’d send Eddie tired smiles and affectionately pinch his arm as they passed each other in the hall.

Eddie did his best to silently support Richie. He’d leave sack lunches and iced coffees in his locker every day. If there was a test coming up, Eddie would lend Richie his notes for that class with the important stuff highlighted. Sometimes Eddie would just pull him into a brief surprise hug and sneak a candy into his pocket.

Things weren’t great, but they were steady – manageable.

That is, until the end of September.

The sack lunches started piling up and the iced coffees left rings of water from where they sat in his locker. Richie would hardly roam the halls anymore, but if he was out he would just breeze past Eddie. At some point he stopped responding to their group chat, he stopped sending Eddie playlists, he stopped smiling.

_God what he’d give just to see Richie smile again._

Eddie didn’t know how to approach the situation anymore. He’d already tried talking to Richie in person, but he was always holed up in the library or his room. The other Losers had also tried their luck with him, but Richie had put so much space between them that Eddie wasn’t sure how to cross it anymore.

Eddie texted Richie – something like that of a last resort.

He was in his room, staring out at the old maple tree beside his bedroom window while music drifted from laptop. There was an unfinished college application sat on his desk, but Eddie could only focus on the phone sat in his lap.

_From, Eddie Spaghetti: hey Rich, can we talk ? we’re all worried about you_

_Trashmouth is currently typing…_

_From, Trashmouth: I’m fine._

_Eddie Spaghetti is currently typing…_

_From, Eddie Spaghetti: Richie, c’mon I know somethings wrong_

_Trashmouth is currently typing…_

_From, Trashmouth: I’m really okay Eds, I just need some space rn okay ? I’ll talk to you later, I’m busy_

_Trashmouth is currently offline._

Eddie stared blankly at his screen. He felt a tug in his stomach, like hands that were trying to twist and tighten a knot he didn’t know how to untangle. Maybe it was more like vines clogging every artery and vein and capillary that rested in his abdomen. He couldn’t really tell anymore.

The heater kicked in, but did nothing to drown out any of the background noise in his room. There was still the fan swinging lazily and the tv static in his head and the music pouring out of his laptop.

_I am sick of the chase, but I’m stupid in love._

Eddie watched the last leaf of the maple tree flutter with the breeze. It shook once, twice, then snapped from its branch. Eddie didn’t know why, but he felt like crying once it finally landed on the dead grass in his backyard.

**winter**

Eddie grew tired in the winter. He grew tired while the shops put up Christmas decorations and the stores filled with toys. He grew tired amongst all the snowfall and short days. He grew tired while the clouds collected and the windows frosted over.

Eddie was staring at his bedroom ceiling – recounting each glow-in-the-dark star that was stuck to his popcorn wall. They’d been up there since he was about nine or ten, the result of a reckless summer sleepover with Richie. Eddie noticed that his stars had faded over the years, but the memory of jumping on the bed with his best friend to stick them up there still burned bright.

_…thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…_

Eddie listened to the faint sound of the early morning traffic that came from the other side of his window. It was gentle, a soothing hum he only ever got to hear if he woke up before sunrise. The heater hadn’t kicked on so his head wasn’t filled with it’s rattle or the ringing he got in his ears if it grew too quiet. There was just the distant sound of rushing cars that drifted into his room.

_…sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…_

Eddie focused on the way light broke into his room. There was no sunshine to paint his walls gold, but there was the sky at dawn to wash them blue. Eddie liked this time of day best – loved the way it made his mint walls look periwinkle. It didn’t make much sense, but Eddie always thought that if melancholy was a color it would look just like his room at 6:00 a.m.

_…nineteen, twenty, twenty-one…_

Eddie couldn’t sleep.

Richie hadn’t spoken to him in weeks and _Eddie couldn’t fucking sleep._ How was he supposed to go from having sunshine and summertime in the palm of his hands to having nothing at all? How was he supposed to function when the one person who’s been in his daily orbit since he was eight, was now gone? How was Eddie supposed to cope with an absence that felt greater than a black hole in his heart?

The worst part was that Eddie couldn’t figure out _why_ he’d been shut out.

That’s what kept him up all night – the not knowing. He’d been running laps in his head trying to piece together what was different this time around, but so far he’d come up with nothing. All he had to show for his sleepless nights were dark circles and under-eye bags.

Eddie had always been the explosive type when it came to his emotions. It worked a bit like a pot of boiling water – a slow and steady simmer that eventually turned into a hot and bubbling mess.

_…twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four…_

“I’m fine.”

_…twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven…_

“I just need some space.”

_…twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty…_

“I’ll talk to you later.”

Eddie was on his feet and tugging on his converse before he even knew what he was doing. His mom was still asleep a few rooms over, but he couldn’t care less if he got caught. Eddie was tired and he was going to settle this _now_.

He rode his beat-up bike across three blocks of iced over streets before he finally reached Richie’s house. He knew his parents were out of town on a business trip (because they always were around this time of year) so he didn’t worry about the way he pounded on their front door. Eddie kept at it until he finally heard a string of curses from the other side of the door and saw the porch-light flick on.

_I’m standing on your porch screaming out, and I won’t leave until you come downstairs._

When Richie opened the door, Eddie felt his heart break.

Eddie must have looked crazy standing at Richie’s doorstep in his current state. He was sure that his hair was torn up by the wind and that his face was flushed bright red from the bike ride over. He was wearing nothing but a ratty t-shirt, some sweats, and his scuffed chucks. His hands were clenched at his sides and he knew that his eyes probably looked a bit wild.

But Richie…

Richie had a blanket wrapped tight around his broad shoulders. His eyes were dull and the skin beneath them was about two shades darker than Eddie’s. He looked like he’d lost some weight if his sunken cheeks were anything to go by. He was alarmingly pale and his hair had finger tracks from where he tugged at it.

“Eds?” He croaked out, reaching up a hand to rub at his eyes. “What’re you doing here?”

Eddie let his eyes dart across Richie’s face before he responded, “I’m here to figure out what’s wrong.”

Richie’s eyes widened at this, and for a brief second Eddie caught a glimpse of something similar to fear from behind his glasses. If there was anything Richie hated more than silences, it was being found out for his real feelings.

“I already told you,” Richie said, coolly, “I’m fine.”

“Bullshit.”

Eddie stepped further into his space – quick and firm, a statement. He was here and he wasn’t leaving.

Richie just crossed his arms as a show of defiance, “What are you talking about?”

“If you’re fine then why do you keep pulling away?”

“I’ve been busy,” he said simply, shrugging his shoulders like this conversation didn’t mean anything.

Eddie felt heat crawl up his neck and curl around the tips of his ears. His face was tight and his shoulders were tense. He picked at the skin around his thumbs until he knew that they were bleeding.

“No, you’ve been pushing me out,” Eddie could feel the familiar lump forming in his throat, but he forced it down. “You’ve been pushing us all out.”

Richie glared down at him, “It’s really early Eds, I think you should go home. I’ll talk to you l-”

“No you won’t,” Eddie said, “You said that last time and that was _weeks_ ago. So I’m here now because I want to know what’s wrong, Rich.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-”

“Go the fuck home, Eddie!”

Eddie flinched. Hearing his name felt like a slap to the face. He sort of wished Richie had just done that instead – it probably would have hurt less. It would have left a fresh mark and a burning sting, but it wouldn’t ache like _this._

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

Eddie took in a breath, soft and stuttering. He grit his teeth, then blinked hard. _A slow simmer that’ll eventually bubble over the edge_.

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“What do you want me to call you then?” He huffed out in a sigh, then, in a tone more exasperated than before, “What do you want me to _do_ , Eddie, because it’s six-thirty in the morning and I am fucking exhausted.”

“Just tell me what’s wrong so that I can fix it.”

Richie stilled at that. His eyes went wide and his arms fell to his sides.

Eddie could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, so he ducked his head down, “Tell me what’s wrong because I honestly – I can’t live like this anymore, Rich.”

His whole body felt like it was on fire. He could feel lightning in his fingertips and sparks coming out of his ears. There was smoke in his throat and flames in his head.

“Eds,” Richie’s voice softened and he reached out for him, but Eddie gently pushed his hand away.

“I can’t sleep! I, I can’t-” he tried to take in a breath, but it burned his lungs. He was going to have a goddamn asthma attack at this rate. “I’m tired too, Richie!”

“Eds, you gotta calm down.”

“I just-” _just, just, just._

He hated how easily worked up he got, but there was nothing to do about it now. Eddie was already shaking and it wasn’t because of the below-freezing temperatures – all the boiling water was finally spilling over the edges of the pot.

“I’m tired of life without you,” Eddie sobbed.

And that was all it took before he started to fall apart.

Eddie had never been an ugly crier – never too loud, never too messy, never anything burdensome. In all honesty, he tried his best not to cry ever _._ His mom always scolded him for crying when he was growing up (it was too fussy, a show of weakness). So, eventually he just… _stopped._

None of his friends had ever seen him cry until now.

Hot tears poured mercilessly down his cold face and left his skin blotchy and red. He didn’t hiccup or sniffle or sob, but he did wipe furiously at his eyes and pick harder at his skin. He tried curling in on himself so that Richie couldn’t see, but it was all a bit useless.

“Eds, Eddie, oh my god _,_ ” Richie muttered, leaning over to gather him in his arms. “Baby, I’m sorry. _I’m so sorry_.”

Eddie tried to push him away, but Richie kept his grip firm. He wrapped him up in the blanket he had around his shoulders and wound his arms around Eddie’s waist. Eddie’s head was buried in the crook of Richie’s neck and he knew that by the end of this his t-shirt’s collar would be tear stained.

“You’re breaking my heart here, Eds. Please stop crying…”

“Why’d you shut me out?” Eddie demanded.

“Because I was stressed out and scared,” Richie explained. “I really didn’t mean to push you away. I got overwhelmed with school and work and…I don’t know, I thought it would be easier to distance myself for a little bit.”

_And I don’t blame you, dear, for running like you did all these years._

“I figured, I wish you would have said that instead of leaving, though.”

Richie sighed, something small and sad, “I really didn’t think you’d care this much.”

Eddie pushed back a bit to catch Richie’s gaze, “Chee, of course I care _.”_

His crying had already slowed to a stop, but hearing him say that brought tears back to his eyes. He curled his fingers around the fabric of Richie’s shirt and furrowed his brows.

Then, Eddie breathed, “ _I love you._ ”

Everything was still for a moment. The breeze blew by, the wind chimes rang, the birds chirped softly in the background. Eddie could see their breaths in the dim glow of Richie’s porch light. They both took a breath – one, two, and then…

Richie took Eddie’s face in his big hands and kissed him.

Eddie felt like he could finally breathe again. The hands that had once been tightening the knot in his belly were now carefully unraveling it. There was no more fire in his heart or head or lungs. There was just the slow blossom of affection in his chest.

It was the middle of winter but Richie tasted entirely like summertime – like sunshine and rainstorms and freshly cut fields. His lips were warm and unrelenting, something steady for Eddie to focus on. Kissing Richie left him breathless and _bright, bright, bright_.

When they pulled apart, Eddie was shocked to see Richie’s flushed face and red rimmed eyes. He carefully reached up a hand to rub at the tears on his cheeks. He brushed the hair out Richie’s eyes and gently pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Next time something’s wrong,” Eddie muttered, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose, “tell me.”

Richie nodded and gave him a slight smile – the one thing he’d wanted to see since September.

_Keep your head up, my love._

Eddie shivered and realized that he was still bare armed and standing outside on the steps of a house in the middle of December. Richie looked down at his goosebump risen skin and rubbed his rough hands against Eddie’s biceps.

“Jesus, Eds,” Richie said, tugging him inside, “why didn’t you grab a sweater before coming over?”

“I didn’t really think about it,” Eddie replied, a bit sheepishly.

Once they reached his room, Richie went straight to his closet in search of a sweatshirt for Eddie to wear. He plucked one of his old ones from its hanger and tossed it to him from over his shoulder. Eddie caught it and quickly pulled it on.

“C’mon, lets get some rest,” Richie said, dragging Eddie back to his bed, “I really am exhausted.”

Everything was warm – the sunlight that broke through his curtains, his cotton duvet, the hands that Richie stuffed beneath his shirt to rest on his stomach. Eddie found that he could still hear the early morning traffic from here and that he could count Richie’s band posters to sleep. He focused on the feeling of Richie’s heartbeat against his back and tried to let that lull him to sleep.

“Eds?”

Eddie gave a weak hum in response.

“I love you too.”

Eddie fell asleep that morning with dreams of summer skies and monarch butterflies and _love love love._

**spring (again)**

Eddie fell in love during the spring. He fell in love while college letters came in and while kids went on spring break. He fell in love amongst all the budding rose bushes and buzzing bees. He fell in love while people went on picnic dates and park-side strolls.

He and Richie were perched against the trunk of a maple tree in a field near the quarry. Richie had his arms wound around his waist from where Eddie sat between his legs. He lazily flipped through the pages of a book while Richie took his midday nap.

There was a calm to the afternoon that he couldn’t quite explain. There was a quiet breeze going and the soft puffs of Richie’s breath on the back of his neck. The sky was vast – so big and blue that Eddie wondered if he could fall into it.

Eddie paused and let his eyes skim over the page he was currently reading. He knew Richie hated when he did it – but Eddie had the same urge he always did when reading a new book. He would skip to the last page to gauge what fate the main character had in store. Maybe it was the control freak in him, but Eddie liked knowing the way things ended.

He gave one side glance to Richie’s sleeping profile and decided he would try to sneak a peek at the ending.

Before Eddie could even let his fingers flip to the last page, Richie plucked the book from his hands and tossed it aside.

“Richie!” He cried, fumbling to reach for the book that had been discarded in the grass. Richie held him firmly in place and kicked the book further away with the tips of his sneakers.

“You gotta stop doing that,” Richie muttered against the top of his head, “you ruin the whole experience that way.”

“You know I don’t like sad endings.”

Richie gave his sides a soft squeeze and nodded, “I know, baby.”

Eddie huffed, feeling all the fight fizzle out of him. He fell back against Richie’s chest and let his eyes flutter shut. He focused on the feeling of Richie’s arms around his waist, the blanket beneath his legs, and the song flooding from his phone.

_Oh, I wanna know just how to love you, the jewel of California._

“When did you wake up?” Eddie asked – quiet, so as to not disturb the peace.

“A few minutes ago. You looked relaxed so I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You should’ve, I was getting tired of reading anyways.”

“I could tell,” Richie chuckled and kissed his temple.

_And my boy like a queen, unlike one you’ve ever seen. He knows how to love me better._

“Hey, Eds?”

“Yeah?”

“Make a wish with me.”

Eddie opened his eyes to see that Richie had a dandelion pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He looked back at him and quirked a brow in question.

“Come on, sweetheart. Make a wish with me.”

Richie was all smiles – toothy and crooked in a familiar way. His hair was wild from where he’d rested his head against the bark of the tree. His eyes were wide and he stared down at Eddie like he was looking at the eighth wonder of the world.

Eddie _melted_.

He nodded and let Richie count down from three. They both blew on the small plant and once the stem landed on the ground beneath them, Eddie turned over to fully face Richie. Then, he took his soft cheeks in his clammy palms and kissed him.

_‘Cause you taste like Lucky Strikes. You drag, I light._

Eddie kissed him until he was breathless, until his lips were full and his face was flushed. He reached back and curled his fingers into his hair. He pressed into his space so that he could get him _closer closer closer._ Eddie wanted to drape Richie in warmth – wanted to show him every lovely feeling that was blooming in his chest.

_Tell me all the ways to love you_.

Later, once they’d both pulled apart and were sprawled across the blanket with their fingers intertwined, Richie turned to Eddie with a question on his lips.

“What’d you wish for?”

Eddie looked at Richie – expression open and sincere.

_I wished for the four seasons – forever with you._

Eddie only smiled and shook his head, “It’s a secret.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, that’s it for now! I hope you all had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Anyways, please follow the quarantine rules - wash your hands, social distance yourselves, all that jazz. Please remember to stay safe and most importantly happy! xoxo


End file.
